








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 818 | 23% |
| Smokes | 876 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 985 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,522 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUS | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | SHRIMPY Aka Young Putin dick | 48% | 87 |
| #3 | lyk | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | Janteland | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Tjusti | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHRIMPY Aka Young Putin dick | 367 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | lyk | 134 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tjusti | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gonoed | 56 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | SUS | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHRIMPY Aka Young Putin dick | +2.95 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | Tjusti | +2.03 | 62 | 54 |
| #3 | SUS | +1.43 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | lyk | -0.44 | 42 | 50 |
| #5 | Jaribarh i din hus | -1.18 | 52 | 58 |





