








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 798 | 32% |
| Smokes | 684 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 289 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 711 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,319 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xtreem | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Wacko | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | M4GIC | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | lucas | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Bolt | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kisni | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | lucas | 2 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | FunBob | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | M0nk3y | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | entry hond | 112 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | Xtreem | 78 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ferret | 78 | 0.65 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wacko | 72 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dikke Vogel | 45 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolt | +4.42 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | epRaa | +2.34 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | M4GIC | +1.58 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | Wacko | +1.31 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | SHOCKTHERAPY | +0.81 | 65 | 76 |





