








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 682 | 29% |
| Smokes | 742 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 396 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 533 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,232 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | PasscaLl | 40% | 15 |
| #12 | F33NIX | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | Mango | 25% | 4 |
| #14 | yorickgod | 25% | 4 |
| #15 | SHOCKTHERAPY | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wacko | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Dikke Vogel | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | LegendRowan | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dikke Vogel | 103 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Wacko | 87 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | epRaa | 54 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | PasscaLl | 53 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bolt | 39 | 0.31 | 1 min |





