








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 877 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 493 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 235 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2750 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3347 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3165 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2815 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,068,144 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 986 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abiser | 47% | 325 |
| #2 | mst | 46% | 96 |
| #3 | Volk | 45% | 169 |
| #4 | nexalotapus~ | 45% | 213 |
| #5 | linko | 44% | 547 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkeLr_ | 23 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Abiser | 23 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | linko | 21 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | nexalotapus~ | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Slade | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linko | 2305 | 0.20 | 62 min |
| #2 | SkeLr_ | 1026 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #3 | Slade | 972 | 0.26 | 22 min |
| #4 | Volk | 592 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #5 | Abiser | 575 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linko | +3.56 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | Volk | -0.03 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | nexalotapus~ | -0.20 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | Slade | -0.43 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | mst | -0.59 | 79 | 67 |





