








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 446 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 142 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5220 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3469 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2766 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4716 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,107,452 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mst | 52% | 98 |
| #2 | Volk | 50% | 191 |
| #3 | Abiser | 46% | 329 |
| #4 | linko | 46% | 516 |
| #5 | Slade | 44% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abiser | 39 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | linko | 19 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | nexalotapus~ | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | LarrcasM | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Volk | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linko | 2122 | 0.19 | 57 min |
| #2 | Slade | 818 | 0.28 | 19 min |
| #3 | Volk | 659 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #4 | Abiser | 560 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #5 | LarrcasM | 558 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linko | +3.74 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | mst | +0.59 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | Slade | +0.03 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | Volk | -0.14 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | nexalotapus~ | -0.36 | 78 | 60 |





