








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 404 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8292 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6532 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3258 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4870 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,042,687 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gDP | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Cashew :] | 59% | 51 |
| #3 | ✪ Zeta | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | Volk | 54% | 203 |
| #5 | tp7 | 50% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | linko | 47% | 214 |
| #7 | nexalotapus~ | 45% | 49 |
| #8 | SkeLr_ | 44% | 137 |
| #9 | Abiser | 43% | 69 |
| #10 | LarrcasM | 43% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tp7 | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Volk | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Cashew :] | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | linko | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | nexalotapus~ | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linko | 851 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | Volk | 768 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #3 | SkeLr_ | 331 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | tp7 | 307 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | LarrcasM | 240 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linko | +3.20 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | gDP | +1.95 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | tp7 | +1.26 | 67 | 51 |
| #4 | Cashew :] | +1.11 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | Slade | -0.05 | 73 | 59 |





