








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1514 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2143 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2706 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3152 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2698 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,207,491 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mst | 52% | 83 |
| #2 | sKeTsCh | 47% | 73 |
| #3 | linko | 46% | 324 |
| #4 | Slade | 45% | 49 |
| #5 | LarrcasM | 45% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Slade | 45% | 49 |
| #5 | LarrcasM | 45% | 213 |
| #6 | Abiser | 44% | 187 |
| #7 | SkeLr_ | 42% | 143 |
| #8 | Volk | 28% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linko | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Abiser | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | SkeLr_ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | LarrcasM | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | mst | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linko | 1399 | 0.20 | 37 min |
| #2 | SkeLr_ | 336 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Abiser | 304 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | mst | 287 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | LarrcasM | 282 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linko | +3.49 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | sKeTsCh | +0.14 | 77 | 51 |
| #3 | nexalotapus~ | -0.02 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | mst | -0.04 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | Slade | -0.55 | 77 | 55 |





