








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 322 matches | ||
| Wingman | 282 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 174 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13753 | 27% |
| Smokes | 12517 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 12459 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 11967 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,338,661 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phiZ㈥ | 67% | 143 |
| #2 | i ♡ turtles | 58% | 451 |
| #3 | Mamushi | 56% | 96 |
| #4 | cyraci | 56% | 454 |
| #5 | Nhympex | 55% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mamushi | 56% | 96 |
| #4 | cyraci | 56% | 454 |
| #5 | Nhympex | 55% | 98 |
| #6 | Milk Crayon | 55% | 454 |
| #7 | Warfully | 53% | 494 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warfully | 79 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Nhympex | 24 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | cyraci | 19 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | i ♡ turtles | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | phiZ㈥ | 13 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk Crayon | 1854 | 0.21 | 50 min |
| #2 | cyraci | 554 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #3 | Warfully | 394 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #4 | Nhympex | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | phiZ㈥ | 130 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FinessedCheeks | +4.56 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | phiZ㈥ | +2.55 | 79 | 39 |
| #3 | Nhympex | -0.30 | 50 | 50 |
| #4 | i ♡ turtles | -0.46 | 59 | 26 |
| #5 | Warfully | -0.91 | 35 | 22 |





