








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13072 | 28% |
| Smokes | 13267 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11622 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9141 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,106,114 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ħαgeи$ | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Rammo ya salamE | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Majo | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | wingheart | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majo | 469 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | DUDE | 461 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | ħαgeи$ | 388 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | 320 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Rammo ya salamE | 244 | 0.10 | 6 min |





