








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 271 | 35% |
| Smokes | 189 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 301 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 15 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,074 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slowdv | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | csh | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | mork | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Salt | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | Walter | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Walter | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | Boizez | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | DrHaribo | 37% | 49 |
| #8 | zefee | 33% | 36 |
| #9 | Howard | 0% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrHaribo | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | zefee | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Salt | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Boizez | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zefee | 110 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Salt | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | DrHaribo | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Walter | 29 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | mork | 26 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slowdv | +5.85 | 68 | 46 |
| #2 | Pricy | +1.10 | 84 | 42 |
| #3 | Boizez | +0.33 | 56 | 59 |
| #4 | csh | +0.33 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | Salt | -0.10 | 59 | 73 |





