








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1510 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1564 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1249 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,587 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronald McDonald | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Danksy | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | -.- | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | zefee | 51% | 102 |
| #5 | L4ma | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Boizez | 50% | 58 |
| #7 | Eulogy | 49% | 79 |
| #8 | ムKetamine Demon | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | The Postman | 46% | 13 |
| #10 | Pricy | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eulogy | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | -.- | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | zefee | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Boizez | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Ronald McDonald | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zefee | 385 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | -.- | 138 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Eulogy | 129 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Boizez | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | L4ma | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pricy | +1.27 | 84 | 34 |
| #2 | L4ma | +0.70 | 59 | 66 |
| #3 | Eulogy | +0.64 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | Walter | +0.61 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Boizez | +0.21 | 46 | 62 |





