








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 790 | 31% |
| Smokes | 592 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 589 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,969 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 𝖈𝖍0𝖕 | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | Robben | 50% | 6 |
| #11 | Zinkostos | 48% | 21 |
| #12 | OldYeller | 45% | 29 |
| #13 | vr1LL | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OldYeller | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Olovski '') | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ✪ c9 Mimo | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | 55 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | OldYeller | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | filiiipseeen | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zinkostos | 33 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | huliganhassan | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |





