








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 930 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9002 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7146 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4148 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4995 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,606 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1079 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Del Guardiano | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | Holocene | 56% | 138 |
| #3 | Bidet | 55% | 287 |
| #4 | reddy | 55% | 123 |
| #5 | SnooZe Airlines | 54% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SnooZe Airlines | 54% | 84 |
| #6 | Gza | 53% | 215 |
| #7 | w1cked | 53% | 34 |
| #8 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 48% | 75 |
| #9 | GabdaG | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bidet | 23 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Gza | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Holocene | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | SnooZe Airlines | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holocene | 490 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Bidet | 483 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #3 | Gza | 376 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 376 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #5 | reddy | 331 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lennon | +4.40 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | ✪ Del Guardiano | +1.70 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | w1cked | +0.97 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | +0.87 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | Gza | -0.19 | 69 | 67 |





