








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 891 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6085 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4575 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3799 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3770 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,574,733 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 667 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honey | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Bane | 58% | 109 |
| #3 | DjDragon | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | Photo | 54% | 147 |
| #5 | Spiceunit | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Lennon | 48% | 75 |
| #12 | SnooZe Airlines | 44% | 25 |
| #13 | Holocene | 43% | 35 |
| #14 | Bidet | 42% | 33 |
| #15 | Knight of Blades, Sir Rated | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gza | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Photo | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Bane | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | reginald | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | DjDragon | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Photo | 684 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Lennon | 351 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | Disaster | 255 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | reginald | 253 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gza | 246 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lennon | +3.62 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | Disaster | +1.38 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | +1.21 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | Styl0 | +0.81 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | Bane | +0.68 | 69 | 59 |





