








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2729 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3568 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2130 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $887,817 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Troldgaard | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Bekker | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | PsyenZ | 49% | 143 |
| #4 | TrevorLahey69 | 49% | 135 |
| #5 | qtz | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TrevorLahey69 | 49% | 135 |
| #5 | qtz | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | Filjo | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | Enetoft | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | ShakEEEbroh | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PsyenZ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | TrevorLahey69 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Troldgaard | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ShakEEEbroh | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PsyenZ | 370 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | TrevorLahey69 | 143 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | qtz | 138 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Troldgaard | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bekker | 114 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZaeteR | +1.08 | 58 | 66 |
| #2 | Enetoft | +1.06 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | TrevorLahey69 | -0.21 | 81 | 53 |
| #4 | PsyenZ | -0.67 | 49 | 71 |
| #5 | Troldgaard | -1.40 | 44 | 67 |





