








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 414 | 26% |
| Smokes | 477 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 368 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 346 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,892 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sorry IM NOT SORRY | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Vas | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | ... | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Azalea | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | KEITHHHH | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azalea | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | KEITHHHH | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Auphuria | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azalea | 207 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | Auphuria | 163 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | KEITHHHH | 110 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Vas | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | ... | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azalea | +2.42 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | Vas | +1.48 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Baby Tung Tung Tung Sahur | +1.27 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | ... | +0.36 | 78 | 41 |
| #5 | ovlas | -0.65 | 79 | 53 |





