








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4044 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3552 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2517 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2614 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $879,605 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Auphuria | 57% | 214 |
| #8 | Vas | 57% | 120 |
| #9 | ... | 56% | 172 |
| #10 | ovlas | 53% | 45 |
| #11 | Sorry IM NOT SORRY | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vas | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | KEITHHHH | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Auphuria | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ... | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Bork | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Auphuria | 866 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | KEITHHHH | 562 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Vas | 281 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | ... | 161 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sorry IM NOT SORRY | 139 | 0.09 | 3 min |





