








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2018 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2795 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 846 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1740 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,923 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby Tung Tung Tung Sahur | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | ... | 60% | 169 |
| #3 | Vas | 59% | 118 |
| #4 | Auphuria | 59% | 220 |
| #5 | Bork | 59% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bork | 59% | 99 |
| #6 | pepegaclap | 58% | 26 |
| #7 | Azalea | 57% | 224 |
| #8 | Sorry IM NOT SORRY | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | ovlas | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azalea | 29 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Vas | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Auphuria | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Bork | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Baby Tung Tung Tung Sahur | 2 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azalea | 1002 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | Auphuria | 902 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #3 | Vas | 276 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ... | 140 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | ovlas | 115 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azalea | +2.36 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | Baby Tung Tung Tung Sahur | +1.19 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | KEITHHHH | +1.04 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | Vas | +0.76 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | Auphuria | +0.69 | 62 | 58 |





