








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2954 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2523 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1983 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1952 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $914,752 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooki^ | 67% | 61 |
| #2 | Steve Rambo | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | tonz / | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | βπ²π²ππ’π―π±π± β | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | ππππΎπΈππΆ γ | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | tonz / | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | βπ²π²ππ’π―π±π± β | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | ππππΎπΈππΆ γ | 37% | 35 |
| #6 | Gangrene | 35% | 108 |
| #7 | Hullukukko | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gangrene | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | βπ²π²ππ’π―π±π± β | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Pooki^ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooki^ | 116 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Gangrene | 113 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Steve Rambo | 46 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | tonz / | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | βπ²π²ππ’π―π±π± β | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooki^ | +3.92 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | Gangrene | +1.27 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | βπ²π²ππ’π―π±π± β | -0.23 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | Steve Rambo | -0.87 | 55 | 62 |
| #5 | tonz / | -0.98 | 54 | 76 |





