








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1394 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3223 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3541 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3283 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,394,517 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doogle | 53% | 103 |
| #2 | zLukaH_ | 48% | 124 |
| #3 | jakeit | 48% | 289 |
| #4 | ChriL | 46% | 207 |
| #5 | HotRodTyler | 46% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jakeit | 48% | 289 |
| #4 | ChriL | 46% | 207 |
| #5 | HotRodTyler | 46% | 152 |
| #6 | condor † 3:16 | 44% | 200 |
| #7 | FYIDream | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakeit | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Doogle | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | HotRodTyler | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ChriL | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | condor † 3:16 | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChriL | 787 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | HotRodTyler | 738 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #3 | Doogle | 193 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | jakeit | 133 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | zLukaH_ | 112 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCZS | +1.89 | 63 | 54 |
| #2 | Doogle | +1.70 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | jakeit | -0.59 | 44 | 39 |
| #4 | zLukaH_ | -0.61 | 59 | 48 |
| #5 | HotRodTyler | -0.88 | 52 | 66 |





