








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4375 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4487 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3459 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4429 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,203 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCZS | 46% | 207 |
| #2 | jakeit | 46% | 254 |
| #3 | condor † 3:16 | 44% | 201 |
| #4 | Doogle | 44% | 73 |
| #5 | HotRodTyler | 43% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | condor † 3:16 | 44% | 201 |
| #4 | Doogle | 44% | 73 |
| #5 | HotRodTyler | 43% | 109 |
| #6 | zLukaH_ | 42% | 95 |
| #7 | FYIDream | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCZS | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | jakeit | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | condor † 3:16 | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Doogle | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | HotRodTyler | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HotRodTyler | 523 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | MCZS | 205 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | jakeit | 114 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | Doogle | 114 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | condor † 3:16 | 110 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCZS | +2.14 | 63 | 56 |
| #2 | Doogle | +1.35 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | jakeit | -0.09 | 47 | 39 |
| #4 | zLukaH_ | -0.26 | 62 | 49 |
| #5 | HotRodTyler | -0.46 | 52 | 67 |





