








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3405 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3624 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2733 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2155 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,312,603 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 52 | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | Dexterity | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | MeAn | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | mute | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | lor | 58% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ubiquity | 55% | 29 |
| #8 | Caylon | 53% | 75 |
| #9 | gaz.g | 52% | 23 |
| #10 | abom | 52% | 150 |
| #11 | LOST | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abom | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | lor | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | 52 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Caylon | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | mute | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abom | 352 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Caylon | 210 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | mute | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | lor | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | MouldyLunchBox | 85 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 52 | +5.21 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | abom | +2.32 | 66 | 74 |
| #3 | MeAn | +2.21 | 85 | 53 |
| #4 | MouldyLunchBox | +1.42 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | mute | +1.23 | 78 | 61 |





