








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2649 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 543 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Renown | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12483 | 24% |
| Smokes | 12451 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 14220 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 12224 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,510 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2014 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SULL_ | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | Ruski | 63% | 68 |
| #3 | howl | 62% | 142 |
| #4 | yax | 61% | 64 |
| #5 | [K] I Eat Dogs. Yum Yum! | 59% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Scratchy__ | 51% | 67 |
| #15 | lor | 47% | 144 |
| #16 | LOST | 46% | 104 |
| #17 | Caylon | 46% | 96 |
| #18 | 𝔹𝕀𝔾 ℂℍ𝕀𝔼𝔽 | 39% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MouldyLunchBox | 17 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | howl | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | gaz.g | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Wardy | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | LOST | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MouldyLunchBox | 615 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | gaz.g | 580 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | howl | 560 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #4 | #Kingy | 365 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | ubiquity | 337 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 52 | +3.29 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | yax | +2.79 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | howl | +2.71 | 76 | 75 |
| #4 | Ruski | +2.03 | 81 | 70 |
| #5 | abom | +1.31 | 66 | 71 |





