








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1688 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3354 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3244 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2696 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,401,018 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 524 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Caylon | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | ky1e | 44% | 50 |
| #10 | Fluffy | 41% | 27 |
| #11 | Nutsnut | 39% | 70 |
| #12 | MouldyLunchBox | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lor | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | abom | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | MouldyLunchBox | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | ky1e | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Nutsnut | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ky1e | 196 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | abom | 181 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nutsnut | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | ubiquity | 103 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Wardy | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 52 | +4.90 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | abom | +1.50 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | MouldyLunchBox | +0.61 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | Dexterity | +0.32 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | Wardy | +0.03 | 67 | 52 |





