








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Renown | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7493 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6840 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6510 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7901 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,764,809 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | gaz.g | 57% | 96 |
| #3 | Arkky | 57% | 194 |
| #4 | howl | 56% | 431 |
| #5 | abom | 55% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ky1e | 52% | 191 |
| #10 | c0n | 52% | 120 |
| #11 | πΉππΎ ββππΌπ½ | 50% | 193 |
| #12 | lor | 47% | 49 |
| #13 | ubiquity | 46% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howl | 20 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | abom | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | LOST | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | #Kingy | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | πΉππΎ ββππΌπ½ | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howl | 1621 | 0.19 | 49 min |
| #2 | abom | 678 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | ky1e | 578 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | #Kingy | 528 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | πΉππΎ ββππΌπ½ | 495 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howl | +3.05 | 76 | 75 |
| #2 | 52 | +2.28 | 77 | 49 |
| #3 | abom | +1.01 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | MouldyLunchBox | +0.48 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | c0n | -0.16 | 84 | 70 |





