








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2577 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1920 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 357 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 2466 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,323,236 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 618 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snoozeh | 56% | 117 |
| #2 | johnny | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | papa^sZechuan | 52% | 95 |
| #4 | JaxX | 50% | 314 |
| #5 | ooze | 48% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | johnny | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | papa^sZechuan | 52% | 95 |
| #4 | JaxX | 50% | 314 |
| #5 | ooze | 48% | 96 |
| #6 | AnkOnCD | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaxX | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Snoozeh | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | johnny | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | ooze | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | papa^sZechuan | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaxX | 1553 | 0.23 | 47 min |
| #2 | Snoozeh | 427 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | ooze | 343 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | papa^sZechuan | 261 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | johnny | 207 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papa^sZechuan | +2.04 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Snoozeh | +1.79 | 85 | 64 |
| #3 | JaxX | +1.30 | 84 | 68 |
| #4 | johnny | +0.52 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | ooze | +0.35 | 64 | 56 |





