








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8001 | 41% |
| Smokes | 5773 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2084 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3752 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,421,336 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnny | 62% | 63 |
| #2 | Snoozeh | 54% | 155 |
| #3 | papa^sZechuan | 52% | 115 |
| #4 | ooze | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | quacker | 50% | 314 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Snoozeh | 54% | 155 |
| #3 | papa^sZechuan | 52% | 115 |
| #4 | ooze | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | quacker | 50% | 314 |
| #6 | AnkOnCD | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quacker | 26 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | johnny | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Snoozeh | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ooze | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | papa^sZechuan | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snoozeh | 571 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | quacker | 564 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | ooze | 480 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | papa^sZechuan | 287 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | johnny | 244 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papa^sZechuan | +1.87 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | JaxX | +1.23 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | Snoozeh | +1.10 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | johnny | +0.34 | 70 | 54 |
| #5 | ooze | +0.11 | 62 | 56 |





