








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1147 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1501 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1485 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2163 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $986,076 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treat PhDD | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Sutol☂ | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | abe | 52% | 315 |
| #4 | SUPERORGANISM | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | c0w | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sutol☂ | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | abe | 52% | 315 |
| #4 | SUPERORGANISM | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | c0w | 45% | 110 |
| #6 | maid | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | c0w | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | SUPERORGANISM | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Sutol☂ | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Treat PhDD | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe | 1646 | 0.27 | 42 min |
| #2 | c0w | 246 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | SUPERORGANISM | 179 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Treat PhDD | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sutol☂ | 30 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUPERORGANISM | +3.20 | 69 | 60 |
| #2 | Treat PhDD | +1.82 | 80 | 74 |
| #3 | maid | +1.13 | 69 | 47 |
| #4 | abe | +0.47 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | Sutol☂ | +0.11 | 74 | 51 |





