








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 370 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7017 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7979 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4379 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5382 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,665,311 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2629 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crankin ma hog | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | Mr.Wiggie | 59% | 184 |
| #3 | GlobbCity | 57% | 185 |
| #4 | maid | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | Sutol☂ | 54% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | edogmega | 51% | 39 |
| #7 | c0w | 50% | 230 |
| #8 | kairos | 49% | 69 |
| #9 | angle ♥ | 49% | 47 |
| #10 | abe | 48% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlobbCity | 23 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | c0w | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Sutol☂ | 13 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | kairos | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | crankin ma hog | 7 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe | 1184 | 0.29 | 29 min |
| #2 | c0w | 575 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | GlobbCity | 547 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Mr.Wiggie | 325 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | crankin ma hog | 224 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crankin ma hog | +3.12 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | SUPERORGANISM | +2.97 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | Sutol☂ | +0.33 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | maid | +0.32 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Mr.Wiggie | -0.17 | 85 | 52 |





