








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3629 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5400 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2780 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1699 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,320,460 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1053 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Dick Dickler | 55% | 69 |
| #9 | Darn | 54% | 237 |
| #10 | krist0ph3r | 53% | 103 |
| #11 | reap | 53% | 116 |
| #12 | holsee | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darn | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | smo | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | DaFunk | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | smo | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 492 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Magill | 446 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Darn | 340 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | krist0ph3r | 291 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | DaFunk | 239 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magill | +3.10 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | smo | +2.62 | 70 | 62 |
| #3 | Devvbot. | +2.29 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | smo | +1.96 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | Yaffa | +0.79 | 69 | 62 |





