








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2048 | 23% |
| Smokes | 471 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 4087 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 2199 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $745,329 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Magill | 53% | 72 |
| #11 | Devvbot. | 53% | 116 |
| #12 | DaFunk | 51% | 93 |
| #13 | Darn | 48% | 185 |
| #14 | smo | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darn | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | krist0ph3r | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Magill | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Hoshiko | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 332 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | DaFunk | 273 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Magill | 268 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | Devvbot. | 253 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | krist0ph3r | 227 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magill | +3.57 | 73 | 73 |
| #2 | Hoshiko | +3.54 | 82 | 52 |
| #3 | Devvbot. | +2.73 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | smo | +2.54 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | smo | +2.22 | 74 | 56 |





