








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 761 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 208 matches | ||
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3494 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3574 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3165 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3449 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,928,582 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnDu | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 62% | 191 |
| #3 | Yaffa | 59% | 68 |
| #4 | Magill | 58% | 137 |
| #5 | cormy | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Darn | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | reap | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Magill | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | DaFunk | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 591 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Magill | 496 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | Devvbot. | 340 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | krist0ph3r | 260 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | AnDu | 254 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magill | +2.73 | 71 | 72 |
| #2 | AnDu | +2.16 | 74 | 74 |
| #3 | smo | +2.11 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | Devvbot. | +1.56 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | Yaffa | +1.05 | 69 | 63 |





