








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 579 | 24% |
| Smokes | 621 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 602 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 635 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $269,320 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | cloverf1eld | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Disrespectfully Reclined | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | TH0R | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | E1nar | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuflU | 12 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Nonni | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | EddezeNNN | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Blick | 2 | 0.0167 |
| #5 | Stjáni Guli | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonni | 216 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | RuflU | 211 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | EddezeNNN | 170 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #4 | Noname | 42 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stjáni Guli | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E1nar | +5.84 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | TH0R | +5.41 | 97 | 68 |
| #3 | Noname | +4.96 | 95 | 60 |
| #4 | Blick | +4.63 | 77 | 39 |
| #5 | detinate | +4.49 | 73 | 76 |





