








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1057 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1999 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2410 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2235 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,076,590 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Nice Guy | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | Tjörck | 51% | 76 |
| #3 | ₷☯𝓁𝒾𝒟.- | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | Neptune | | 48% | 56 |
| #5 | Bombaaa | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | 3amo ADRN | 46% | 24 |
| #9 | Kitty2120 | 40% | 25 |
| #10 | ✪ Metro Boomin ✪ | 39% | 23 |
| #11 | ♠ Killing Machine ♠ | 29% | 21 |
| #12 | Daidai | 27% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tjörck | 14 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | binkoff 373 | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Bombaaa | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ₷☯𝓁𝒾𝒟.- | 7 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Mr. Nice Guy | 6 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Schaudi | 580 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | Tjörck | 236 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | binkoff 373 | 171 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bombaaa | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr. Nice Guy | 126 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♠ Killing Machine ♠ | +3.95 | 91 | 53 |
| #2 | Tjörck | +3.51 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Mr. Nice Guy | +3.45 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | ✪ Metro Boomin ✪ | +2.61 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | ₷☯𝓁𝒾𝒟.- | +2.10 | 79 | 57 |





