








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1311 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2247 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1806 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1762 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,333 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tjörck | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Mr. Nice Guy | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | Neptune | | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | binkoff 373 | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | Tac | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Lil Schaudi | 50% | 46 |
| #7 | Yato | 47% | 75 |
| #8 | ₷☯𝓁𝒾𝒟.- | 43% | 23 |
| #9 | Fred | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | Daidai | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yato | 15 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | binkoff 373 | 13 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Neptune | | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Tac | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Tjörck | 4 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binkoff 373 | 196 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lil Schaudi | 164 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Neptune | | 73 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tac | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr. Nice Guy | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tjörck | +4.20 | 84 | 75 |
| #2 | Mr. Nice Guy | +3.05 | 79 | 51 |
| #3 | binkoff 373 | +2.20 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | ₷☯𝓁𝒾𝒟.- | +1.01 | 83 | 52 |
| #5 | Bombaaa | +0.82 | 52 | 56 |





