








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2912 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2820 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2694 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3794 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $861,225 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thumb | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | BOND 👀🔫 | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | Tills | 53% | 173 |
| #4 | wyan | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | SHINNERS13 | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | AbrahamDrinkin | 50% | 22 |
| #10 | Frawst | 50% | 22 |
| #11 | Boomservice | 49% | 37 |
| #12 | Protege | 47% | 19 |
| #13 | aero | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tills | 24 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | I just made a lil 40 Im geeked | 17 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | wyan | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | BOND 👀🔫 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | DingBuddy | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tills | 521 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | R3d4 | 341 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #3 | I just made a lil 40 Im geeked | 222 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | aero | 202 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | wyan | 201 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOND 👀🔫 | +2.71 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | DingBuddy | +2.68 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | SHINNERS13 | +1.56 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | wyan | +1.48 | 87 | 73 |
| #5 | Tills | +1.05 | 82 | 67 |





