








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3444 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3179 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2368 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2572 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,795 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigdaddydave | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Dr_P_Za | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | CS Omnipotence | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | Reaper | 54% | 87 |
| #5 | Meatwad | 54% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Reaper | 54% | 87 |
| #5 | Meatwad | 54% | 157 |
| #6 | Frylock | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | Memorial | 47% | 47 |
| #8 | Stoney | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Reaper | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Memorial | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Stoney | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | CS Omnipotence | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 905 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #2 | CS Omnipotence | 260 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | Reaper | 231 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Memorial | 134 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stoney | 110 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ck floop | +1.55 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Dr_P_Za | +0.86 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | Reaper | +0.76 | 58 | 54 |
| #4 | CS Omnipotence | +0.70 | 79 | 73 |
| #5 | bigdaddydave | +0.11 | 74 | 55 |





