








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 575 | 27% |
| Smokes | 611 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 479 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 482 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,494 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ck floop | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Reaper | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Meatwad | 55% | 69 |
| #4 | CS Omnipotence | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Stoney | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Reaper | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Meatwad | 55% | 69 |
| #4 | CS Omnipotence | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Stoney | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | Memorial | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Stoney | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Memorial | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Reaper | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 448 | 0.30 | 10 min |
| #2 | CS Omnipotence | 167 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | Reaper | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ck floop | 69 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Stoney | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ck floop | +1.52 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | CS Omnipotence | +1.10 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | bigdaddydave | +0.68 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | Reaper | +0.01 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | Stoney | -0.46 | 60 | 70 |





