








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5362 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3044 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4523 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5048 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,262 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reaper | 51% | 188 |
| #2 | Frylock | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | Ck floop | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | Meatwad | 46% | 325 |
| #5 | Stoney | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ck floop | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | Meatwad | 46% | 325 |
| #5 | Stoney | 43% | 42 |
| #6 | CS Omnipotence | 42% | 71 |
| #7 | Dr_P_Za | 28% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 24 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Reaper | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Dr_P_Za | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Stoney | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | CS Omnipotence | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 1908 | 0.28 | 43 min |
| #2 | Reaper | 455 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | CS Omnipotence | 448 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #4 | Dr_P_Za | 218 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Stoney | 155 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ck floop | +2.12 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | Frylock | +1.98 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | Reaper | +0.70 | 57 | 52 |
| #4 | CS Omnipotence | +0.27 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | Meatwad | -0.06 | 48 | 62 |





