








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 799 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 411 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4003 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3144 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3777 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2436 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,018,438 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frylock | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | Ck floop | 54% | 87 |
| #3 | Memorial | 51% | 188 |
| #4 | Meatwad | 50% | 558 |
| #5 | CS Omnipotence | 47% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | CS Omnipotence | 47% | 135 |
| #6 | Stoney | 44% | 45 |
| #7 | Dr_P_Za | 43% | 74 |
| #8 | Bananayourjamas | 42% | 62 |
| #9 | Kap | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 56 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Memorial | 25 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Dr_P_Za | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | CS Omnipotence | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Stoney | 6 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 3357 | 0.28 | 74 min |
| #2 | CS Omnipotence | 805 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #3 | Memorial | 577 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Dr_P_Za | 315 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | Bananayourjamas | 315 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CS Omnipotence | +1.44 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Ck floop | +1.22 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | Frylock | +1.12 | 65 | 64 |
| #4 | Reaper | +0.37 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | Meatwad | +0.05 | 47 | 63 |





