








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 229 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2453 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2456 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2181 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1888 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,248 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | floody | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | Ax-R | 55% | 91 |
| #4 | smash | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | floody | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | Ax-R | 55% | 91 |
| #4 | smash | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ax-R | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | floody | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | smash | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ax-R | 437 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | floody | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | smash | 130 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 103 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floody | +3.50 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | Ax-R | +1.54 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | styrofoamdonkey15 | +1.34 | 87 | 45 |
| #4 | SgtHash | +1.21 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | smash | -0.41 | 77 | 63 |





