








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2814 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2616 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3700 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2545 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,154 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floody | 66% | 144 |
| #2 | Ax-R | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | pump | 64% | 108 |
| #4 | [KT]$#mite | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | SgtHash | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floody | 66% | 144 |
| #2 | Ax-R | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | pump | 64% | 108 |
| #4 | [KT]$#mite | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | SgtHash | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floody | 18 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | pump | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Ax-R | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | SgtHash | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floody | 322 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | pump | 243 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | [KT]$#mite | 210 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ax-R | 173 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | SgtHash | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floody | +4.08 | 90 | 53 |
| #2 | Ax-R | +2.14 | 89 | 62 |
| #3 | pump | +1.17 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | SgtHash | +1.05 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | smash | +0.83 | 72 | 66 |





