








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3143 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2633 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1652 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2075 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,774 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | smash | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | SgtHash | 55% | 91 |
| #4 | floody | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | smash | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | SgtHash | 55% | 91 |
| #4 | floody | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floody | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | SgtHash | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | smash | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SgtHash | 238 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | floody | 167 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | smash | 127 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 114 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ax-R | +2.10 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | floody | +2.03 | 91 | 58 |
| #3 | styrofoamdonkey15 | +0.45 | 84 | 43 |
| #4 | SgtHash | +0.36 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | smash | +0.34 | 75 | 67 |





