








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 251 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2494 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3335 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3432 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3201 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $774,906 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pump | 67% | 84 |
| #2 | smash | 66% | 144 |
| #3 | [KT]$#mite | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | SgtHash | 58% | 55 |
| #5 | Ax-R | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pump | 67% | 84 |
| #2 | smash | 66% | 144 |
| #3 | [KT]$#mite | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | SgtHash | 58% | 55 |
| #5 | Ax-R | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smash | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | pump | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Ax-R | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | SgtHash | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | [KT]$#mite | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smash | 458 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ax-R | 321 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | pump | 192 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | [KT]$#mite | 143 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | SgtHash | 134 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | floody | +3.71 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | Ax-R | +1.13 | 89 | 62 |
| #3 | smash | +1.06 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | [KT]$#mite | +0.91 | 60 | 77 |
| #5 | SgtHash | +0.71 | 71 | 62 |





