








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 301 | 21% |
| Smokes | 264 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 481 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 404 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,490 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Rebourne | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | ZeVent | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | .dwg | 59% | 56 |
| #5 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 57% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Rebourne | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | ZeVent | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | .dwg | 59% | 56 |
| #5 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 57% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 14 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | .dwg | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 7 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | -Rebourne | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .dwg | 239 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 102 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 89 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | ZeVent | 49 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | -Rebourne | 28 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | +3.71 | 81 | 78 |
| #2 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | +2.44 | 79 | 40 |
| #3 | ZeVent | +2.13 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | -Rebourne | +1.45 | 86 | 62 |
| #5 | .dwg | +0.24 | 59 | 65 |





