








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3114 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2087 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2057 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2088 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,908 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philthyphil | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 55% | 110 |
| #3 | SteveMcCracken | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | Dazzler | 53% | 232 |
| #5 | Bane | 51% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bane | 51% | 170 |
| #6 | ぷ Pumpieh | 50% | 109 |
| #7 | Palme | 49% | 111 |
| #8 | MacaRena | 47% | 106 |
| #9 | Tiltkröte | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bane | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Dazzler | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ぷ Pumpieh | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Palme | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazzler | 880 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | ぷ Pumpieh | 374 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Palme | 287 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bane | 282 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | SteveMcCracken | 176 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazzler | +2.99 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | mrvn | +2.65 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | +0.23 | 74 | 29 |
| #4 | Palme | -0.05 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | Philthyphil | -0.49 | 73 | 64 |





