








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 511 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3333 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1697 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2524 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 890 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,281,032 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Green Faucet Long Grass | 56% | 114 |
| #7 | KiruLo | 51% | 208 |
| #8 | waddles the duck ❤ | 46% | 28 |
| #9 | RHY | 40% | 30 |
| #10 | sleepy | 37% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiruLo | 30 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Green Faucet Long Grass | 24 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | waddles the duck ❤ | 10 | 0.0198 |
| #4 | sleepy | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Elo | 6 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiruLo | 1080 | 0.26 | 26 min |
| #2 | Green Faucet Long Grass | 597 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #3 | sleepy | 233 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sicker | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | SoulEater | 113 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiruLo | +5.70 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | Green Faucet Long Grass | +4.69 | 91 | 63 |
| #3 | SoulEater | +1.86 | 67 | 51 |
| #4 | RHY | +0.71 | 78 | 38 |
| #5 | Devil | +0.53 | 59 | 46 |





