








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7859 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7264 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6527 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7612 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,162,768 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 797 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White | 75% | 40 |
| #2 | Sep | 63% | 162 |
| #3 | koutsi | 61% | 94 |
| #4 | Kääbik | 59% | 278 |
| #5 | Torkuttaja | 58% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kääbik | 59% | 278 |
| #5 | Torkuttaja | 58% | 240 |
| #6 | SenZeJ | 58% | 81 |
| #7 | jääkuubik | 58% | 81 |
| #8 | Page | 46% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kääbik | 27 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Torkuttaja | 25 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | koutsi | 22 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Page | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Sep | 12 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kääbik | 820 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | Torkuttaja | 636 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | koutsi | 458 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #4 | Page | 364 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sep | 330 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sofail | +2.51 | 84 | 76 |
| #2 | koutsi | +2.06 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | Sep | +1.50 | 86 | 59 |
| #4 | Kääbik | +1.37 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | jääkuubik | +0.63 | 76 | 64 |





