








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1308 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 9% |
| Smokes | 993 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 524 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 568 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,016,203 of utility $295 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Yiannos | 46% | 137 |
| #3 | SeedlessGrape | 46% | 162 |
| #4 | moose | 45% | 138 |
| #5 | amr | 45% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Yiannos | 46% | 137 |
| #3 | SeedlessGrape | 46% | 162 |
| #4 | moose | 45% | 138 |
| #5 | amr | 45% | 143 |
| #6 | appLEjk | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeedlessGrape | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | amr | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Yiannos | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | moose | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amr | 578 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Yiannos | 465 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | SeedlessGrape | 214 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | moose | 135 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 64 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amr | +0.55 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | SeedlessGrape | +0.31 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | Yiannos | +0.18 | 56 | 75 |
| #4 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | -0.01 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | Fred Jones | -0.91 | 67 | 40 |





