








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3546 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5005 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2788 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4491 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $699,884 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1'tek | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | noice | 62% | 34 |
| #3 | Bolar | 53% | 242 |
| #4 | Snipestorm | 52% | 145 |
| #5 | Sully | 51% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bolar | 53% | 242 |
| #4 | Snipestorm | 52% | 145 |
| #5 | Sully | 51% | 171 |
| #6 | Patsy | 50% | 170 |
| #7 | Aika❤ | 49% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patsy | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Bolar | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Snipestorm | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Sully | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | noice | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolar | 739 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Snipestorm | 693 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #3 | Sully | 493 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | Patsy | 363 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | noice | 78 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noice | +3.20 | 63 | 55 |
| #2 | Sully | +1.60 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | Bolar | +1.53 | 52 | 65 |
| #4 | K1'tek | +0.56 | 59 | 32 |
| #5 | JEXE | -0.52 | 82 | 66 |





